Endurance. Tenacity. Perseverance. Steadfastness. Persistence. These are all words that you think of when you think of running a race or finishing a big project at work. They are all words that we hope would be used to describe us but in all honesty, deep down in the pit of our stomachs, we don't want to have to use. These are also all words that have been thrust into our lives in the last two weeks...although, I would use a much different term to describe the state that Trey and I find ourselves in...treading water. Existing. Our typical answer to daily inquiries into our existence is that we are hanging in there. We have even started to occasionally catch ourselves smiling. We know that God will heal these wounds, but like all deep cuts it will take some serious time. We have also started doing crazy (borderline insane) things. For example, tomorrow I am running an 8K. Perhaps I should rephrase that and say that I am WALKING an 8K. Really I am going to try to run...TRY!!! A lot of people are reading this and thinking "Good for you...going and doing something healthy". If you knew me at all, you would know that me going to this run tomorrow is almost suicidal. Seriously...I am not a runner. I have not trained. And it will be an absolute miracle of God if I even cross the finish line!!! Really it's not that bad, but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to run the whole thing.
That being said, we are doing things to try to return to life as we know it. I am going back to work in the next week or two on a part-time basis at Grand Strand. Trey is getting back into full swing of a busy youth schedule. And, we're even planning on going to the Clemson-Carolina game (it should be easy to get tickets if Carolina keeps losing!!!). We are frequently having dinner and lunch with friends and planning for the holidays. Our main goal is to be as busy as possible so that by the end of the day, we collapse. We have incredible families and absolutely amazing friends that have been diligent in checking on us and keeping us going throughout this pit. Many of you are in one of those groups and let me clearly say that there is no way...NO WAY...we would have survived this without you. We know that God can heal anything and we know that He sustains us through this time, but we also know that he is using many of you to do just that. So please know that we love you and that we owe you all more than we will ever be able to repay in kindness.
The Twists and Turns of Grief
4 months ago